14 Awesome Marriage tips from Zig Ziglar Every Husband and Wife Should Read:
Let’s look at a step-by-step procedure we can follow in building or rebuilding a happy marriage.
1. Remember what you did before you married each other? Remember how you kept your best foot forward at all times, showed your best side, were on good behavior, were thoughtful, courteous, considerate and kind? That is an excellent procedure to make certain your marriage stays solid. Even if it is in trouble at the moment, you can bring it back to its original bloom.
2. Read Mary Crowley’s book, Moments With Mary. In this beautiful little book, the author points out that marriage is not a 50/50 proposition, it is a 100%/100% proposition. Husbands give 100% to the marriage and wives do the same.
3. Start and end every day with a declaration of love for your mate, and during that day, if it’s feasible, take three minutes 140 to telephone just to chat and express your love. After all, the best time to express love for your mate is before someone else does. Occasionally drop a “love letter” in the mail. It’s a small investment with great rewards.
4. Surprise him or her with an occasional gift or card. It obviously isn’t the gift itself, but the thought behind the gift. As Sir Lancelot said, “The gift without the giver is bare.” Another poet expressed it rather eloquently when he said, “Rings and jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of one’s self.”
5. Spend some QUALITY time together. Remember how you courted each other so avidly and how you had so much time just for courting before marriage? Repeat the process. Go for a walk or simply turn off the TV and make your mate feel as if he or she is the most important person in your Hfe. He or she is, whether or not you realize it at this moment.
6. Be a good listener. As a wise man once said, “Talking is sharing but listening is caring.” Listen to the myriads of detail and small talk that make up your mate’s day. Always remember that duty makes us do things well, but love makes us do them beautifully. I emphasize again that what occasionally starts out as duty turns into complete love. Interestingly enough, you will be amazed at how exciting some of those details can be.
7. Don’t make your husband or wife compete with the kids for your attention. Reserve time just for him or her.
8. When you disagree, remember, you can disagree without being disagreeable. However, you must never go to sleep at night with unresolved differences. You will not sleep as well and these differences will settle into both of your subconscious minds and will be a recurring source of problems. You can be honest and yet sensitive to each other.
9. Remember, our creator decreed that the man is the head of the household. Perhaps this should have been step number one. A woman is infinitely more secure knowing she has a man to handle the major decisions. I have seldom, if ever, seen a truly happy marriage where the husband was not the head of the family. If the husband then makes certain that Almighty God is his master, then it insures the relationship with certainty.
However, the husband must remember he can fill this role with love and kindness and yet with authority and firmness. God also teaches us that man is to honor his wife and to love her as his own body (Eph 5:28). Remember God took the woman from under Adam’s arm, not from his head so she could rule over him, nor from his foot so he might trample her. He took her from his side, from a secure and protected position, so husband and wife could
walk down life’s highway together. For an in-depth look at the true concept of what this means, read The Christian Family by Larry Christanson.
10. Remember, you will often have to “bend over backwards” to please or understand your mate. That position might be a little uncomfortable but it makes it difficult for you or your marriage to fall on its face.
11. Try this recipe guaranteed to cook up a happy marriage.
1 Cup – Love / 5 Spoons – Hope
2 Cups – Loyalty / 2 Spoons – Tenderness
3 Cups – Forgiveness / 4 Quarts – Faith
1 Cup – Friendship / 1 Barrel – Laughter
Take Love and Loyalty and mix it thoroughly with Faith. Blend it with Tenderness, Kindness and Understanding. Add Friendship and Hope. Sprinkle abundantly with Laughter. Bake it with Sunshine. Serve generous helpings daily.
12. Use Ephesians 4:32 (And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another) as your daily guide.
13. Pray together. Evidence is substantial that husbands and wives who pray together on a daily basis have a divorce rate of less than 3%.
14. Remember, when the inevitable disagreement takes place, who makes the move to “make up” isn’t important. However, the one who makes the move demonstrates the greater maturity and love.