Woody Allen’s  ten sarcastic quotes about life and god.

1. I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
2. “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.”
3. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
4. “Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”
5. “There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
6. “Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.
7. “My brain? That’s my second favorite organ.”
8. “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone you love.”
9. ““To you, I’m an atheist. To God, I’m the loyal opposition.”
10. “Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.”